Restaurant Review: The FSFC Criteria

The Four State Food Critic doesn’t have a specific restaurant review this week, so I thought I’d pass along some of my personal “criteria” I look for and use in my critiques.

 

Let me also say this – I’m never out to purposely “bash” an establishment or give them a bad review (and quite frankly, it’s just my opinion – you may have a differing one).  I think anyone running a restaurant deserves a tip of the hat, because it is a cutthroat business.  While the “90% failure rate in the first year” figure we generally hear is a myth (my research indicates its more like 25% in the first year – 60% over four years), running a successful restaurant takes more time than many owners realize, and as such some things can slide or get neglected (like ingredient quality, staffing, or cleanliness).

So, with that in mind, here are some of the criteria I use when reviewing a restaurant:

No “National Chains.”  Sorry - Olive Garden, Tilted Kilt, and Red Robin are out.  There are plenty of places that do reviews on the big boys.  I’m more interested in single location, one-of-a-kind restaurants (but I don’t mind if they have more than one local location).

Decide on your service style – and stick with it.  You want to be a bar that serves a burger or two?  OK.  You want to be a high-end dining experience?  Great.  Are you advertising yourself as a diner?  Fine, but be a diner.  A restaurant cannot be all things to all people.  Pick a service style and work on perfecting it.  Don’t advertise (and price) yourself as “high end” and then serve me individually wrapped butter packets or toss a creamer on my table.  Serve me a good burger at the bar - don’t offer some elaborate three course meal that has been waiting under a heat lamp in the back.  Know who and what you are – then stay with it.

Easy on the menu.  I don’t need fifteen entrée choices, and quite frankly, neither does any decent restaurant.  I’m not looking for ten salad choices or four soups.  Less is more.  My favorite menus are on one page.  I’d rather go to a place that does one thing extremely well as opposed to one that does a lot of things mediocre.  In addition, pick a cuisine and stick with it.  I am wary of Chinese/Japanese fusion or Italian/Mexican eateries (or any other odd combination).  Odds are they do one or the other (and sometimes both) poorly. 

 

Keep it clean!  Look, I love dive bars and “hole in the wall” eating establishments, but follow some basic rules of cleanliness.  Don’t give me a dirty plate, glass, or silverware.  Have someone sweep the floor.  Wipe off the tables between patrons.  If the front of the house isn’t clean, I’m afraid to think about what’s going on in the kitchen.

Service – friendly and attentive, but don’t overplay it.  Everyone wants a friendly server.  The FSFC also looks for little things.  Does the waiter/waitress approach the table in a good mood?  Is my drink refilled (or offered to be refilled) without asking?  Are my empty plates being cleared?  Am I being looked after, but not smothered?  I’ve known plenty of people in the food service industry (and know what a tough job service can be), so a server has to be pretty blatant or memorably bad for me not to cut them a little slack.  Don’t forget, though - bad service can ruin a good meal.

I hope to be back next Friday with a new restaurant review (I just need a place to go first!)